I was up way too late with the kids. Got up way too early because of the kids. Now I'm getting to bed WAY to late again because someone gave me the Jericho TV Series for Christmas. Kind of a cool series! I've only worked my way through Season One though. The angry pygmies were rebelling and needed to go to bed, but I must say that I am pretty impressed with the series!
I sensed the beginning of the chaos when I saw Calvin, my 7 yo son, quietly come into the TV room and sit on the chair and look nervously in my direction out of the corner of his eye. Calvin, for you new readers, NEVER sits quietly... EVER! He doesn't even SLEEP quietly!
"What did you do?" I paused the show. "Calvin, what happened?"
I noticed his hair was wet and I could tell that he had taken a shower like I asked him to, which worried me a little more. "Did you break the shower???!" (Don't laugh! He has!)
Admiral Jackson came into the TV room at this point. Admiral Jackson is a miniature Black Poodle. In order to help "Jackson" maintain some sense of masculinity we allow him to grow his hair out into sort of a dreadlock look. We keep it trimmed around his eyes and he seems to like it much better than the girlie cuts most poodles receive.
It wasn't hard to figure out why Calvin was being so nervous. When Jackson came into the room Calvin actually covered his eyes with his hand. Jackson sat down in front of me and stared at Calvin with quite the "serious" gaze.
Apparently, not ONLY did Calvin decide that Jackson needed a shower, he also decided he needed a SHAVE! Calvin used my hair clippers to cut Jackson's Dreadlocked hair on his head... without ANY sized guard on the clippers at all... Leaving Jackson with a what appeared to be a reverse crew cut. Jackson's head was BALD... shiny bald... pale-white-doggy-skin-showing BALD. And he wasn't any happier than I was about it.
Tanner and Josh, my two oldest boys, coughed hard as they tried to disguise their laughter as they nearly ran from the room. I really had to bite my cheek HARD not to smile.Jackson looked SO RIDICULOUS! I never realized how small his head is under all that fur! And I could tell that Jackson was really staring HARD at Calvin... just making it even more laughable!
"Son, why did you shave the dog's head completely bald?" In all my days growing up and in all my years as a father I have never even considered having to say those words. Have you??
"I was just trying to make it so the hair wasn't in his eyes and when I started to cut it he moved and it shaved all the way back and it shaved his head and back." (Back?)
I looked down at the dog sitting in the protected area around my feet and saw what little Calvin meant by "shaved his...back". Admiral Jackson had lost a two inch strip of fur just before his tail. He'd shaved the dog's head and butt all in the same motion... AWESOME!! But I had to act stern and strict... I snorted LOUD as the laughter busted out of me, I had tried to remain serious, but I couldn't! I laughed so hard at the dog! Even Calvin started to laugh a little, despite knowing the days ahead of being grounded from the X-Box!
But that's not the funny part!!!
Two minutes later, little Ramona started yelling and crying upstairs and I can hear her thundering toward the stairs to come down! I can't understand a WORD she is yelling except for I KNOW Calvin is involved. And I can tell the older boys have seen her because I can hear them laughing all the way from downstairs in the TV room.
The only problem is that Calvin seems genuinely confused as to what the problem could have been.
Sarah comes in to the TV room soaking wet with a towel around her for modesty... covered in black poodle fur. She looked AWFUL! I promise I tried SO HARD not to laugh but I just couldn't stop it!
Calvin, at this point, was laying back in his chair laughing into a pillow while she pointed at him and screamed at him about how he had not cleaned the dog fur out of the tub and now she had it stuck ALL OVER her.
Half an hour later, after regaining some control over the situation again, I spent some time reading with Sarah. It was a good quiet time and I could tell she had really settled down again. She had her fuzzy pajamas on and her favorite stuffed animal tucked in next to her and we were just starting on the second book. All was calm...
Then she vomited...
Does it get any better than that? Seriously!
Princesses Still Exist
I'm taking a break from discussing the exaggerated emergencies and manufactured hysterias of the mainstream press to tell you that there is hope! Princesses REALLY DO exist!
Writing for different commentators and show hosts is not as easy as it would seem. Research can bog you down in some deep and sometimes melancholy moods. This morning has been one of those mornings. I have been doing some research for a large piece and the research subject was dragging my mood down. I needed a break.
My 7 yo, Sarah, reminded me in her special way that I told her I would make homemade donuts this morning. "Dad... dad....dad... when are making the donuts... dad....dad... donuts, dad....daddy... are you coming?....Dad... I'M STARVING FOR DONUTS, DAD!"
"FINE! I'm making the donuts!!!"
I was doing some serious Papa Bear grumbling... that is until a 7 year old princess spins into the kitchen and asks me to please zip up her dress. I asked her why she was wearing her fancy dress and she said "I'm a dancing princess today and you are my dancing daddy."
She put her CD player on the floor of the kitchen and held her small hands up to me and smiled; I suddenly became a Dancing Dad.
We danced to her favorite Taylor Swift songs first and she taught me how it's important for little girls to stand on their daddy's feet while they dance so that they don't accidently get stepped on. As I listened to the words of the song I wondered how I was going to react when "Romeo" came to steal my dances with my Princesses.
Then we danced around to some crazy techno music and I showed off my best robot dance. She laughed so hard as I tried to do the Moonwalk.
Her big sister showed up in her fancy dress and shoes and I danced with my 12 year old daughter. I taught her some steps of a Samba and I watched her and realized suddenly that she was emerging from being a little girl into a beautiful young woman as she danced there in the kitchen. Her eyes flashed sparks as she smiled at me and I could sense that she would not be my little girl for much longer, but that it was ok, because she would always be my Princess.
As another techno song came on I stepped back and watched as my two beautiful young daughters transformed into princesses and danced together in the kitchen... spinning and smiling and swirling and clattering about in their fancy shoes. I was no longer a man having a difficult day, I was a Dancing Dad who was dancing with some real live Princesses. How can there be no hope, after all?
I believe there is hope because princesses still dance with their dads.
Writing for different commentators and show hosts is not as easy as it would seem. Research can bog you down in some deep and sometimes melancholy moods. This morning has been one of those mornings. I have been doing some research for a large piece and the research subject was dragging my mood down. I needed a break.
My 7 yo, Sarah, reminded me in her special way that I told her I would make homemade donuts this morning. "Dad... dad....dad... when are making the donuts... dad....dad... donuts, dad....daddy... are you coming?....Dad... I'M STARVING FOR DONUTS, DAD!"
"FINE! I'm making the donuts!!!"
I was doing some serious Papa Bear grumbling... that is until a 7 year old princess spins into the kitchen and asks me to please zip up her dress. I asked her why she was wearing her fancy dress and she said "I'm a dancing princess today and you are my dancing daddy."
She put her CD player on the floor of the kitchen and held her small hands up to me and smiled; I suddenly became a Dancing Dad.
We danced to her favorite Taylor Swift songs first and she taught me how it's important for little girls to stand on their daddy's feet while they dance so that they don't accidently get stepped on. As I listened to the words of the song I wondered how I was going to react when "Romeo" came to steal my dances with my Princesses.
Then we danced around to some crazy techno music and I showed off my best robot dance. She laughed so hard as I tried to do the Moonwalk.
Her big sister showed up in her fancy dress and shoes and I danced with my 12 year old daughter. I taught her some steps of a Samba and I watched her and realized suddenly that she was emerging from being a little girl into a beautiful young woman as she danced there in the kitchen. Her eyes flashed sparks as she smiled at me and I could sense that she would not be my little girl for much longer, but that it was ok, because she would always be my Princess.
As another techno song came on I stepped back and watched as my two beautiful young daughters transformed into princesses and danced together in the kitchen... spinning and smiling and swirling and clattering about in their fancy shoes. I was no longer a man having a difficult day, I was a Dancing Dad who was dancing with some real live Princesses. How can there be no hope, after all?
I believe there is hope because princesses still dance with their dads.
H1N1... My Elbow Pit is NASTY!
Having a moderate amount of medical training I am not one to minimize preventative measures for avoiding illness, injury or even chronic halitosis (bad breath). I do, however, take a realistic and common sense approach to the issue of medical illness and disease... it happens.
I'm not smiling at the more-mild-than-expected numbers from the H1N1 flu because the moment I do someone else will come up and say, "there is still a second more virulent wave coming!" ... well, actually, that's already passed..."there's a third more deadly wave coming!" It's impossible to disprove a negative. The next wave of illness could easily be manipulated to completely debunk my analysis and I would be none-the-wiser. It's like saying, "We have done a good job making America safe from terrorist attack and we will NEVER be attacked again!" The minute you say that some other young man is being convinced to strap high explosives to his groin-al region.
On a quick aside... I would have a difficult, if not near impossible, time keeping a straight face while trying to explain to a young and fervent recruit what the "plan of attack" was going to be..."Here's what we're going to do! You take this bag of high explosives and slide it down next to you nuts. Then you take this here syringe of accelerant and inject it into the bag of high explosives around your nuts. THEN when you get to you seat... you take your blanket and cover your whole body in the blanket, to avoid suspicion and all, and then you light your nuts on fire in order to detonate the high explosives strapped to said nuts. OH! And if the explosive DON'T explode you can at least expect an intensely hot flame in and around the "twig and berries" area."
And the terrorists are bragging that they have 300 more crotch bombers ready to light their balls on fire! (Hey, I'm just reporting then news here, I don't make it up.)
Anyway... back to the flu...
What I AM stating is that the numbers have not even come CLOSE to the type numbers we have been hearing we would see from the beginning of the year. In fact, to date, only 12,000 people have died from this flu. Certainly ONE death is too many when you have such a tragic illness take a life, but in the overall number of deaths per flu season, that would be considered a good year. Typically, between 30,000 to 40,000 die each year in the US just from catching the "regular" seasonal flu.
Has sneezing into our elbows and bathing in hand sanitizer saved us from mucous covered devastation? I know my dry cleaning bill has certainly been devastated due to the "detritus left behinds" from the many good moist sneezes that have been delivered into the sleeve of my suit jacket.
I must admit it's a bit awkward to have the mucous stained elbow pit area in a long meeting. Judging by some of the glances, it's as if I had "liquid evil" boiling up on my sleeve. Who came up with the "elbow pit sneeze/ cough maneuver"?? Why can't I just wash my hands after I sneeze? HEY! You try feeling good about delivering a goobery sneeze to your expensive suit jacket sleeve! It's just nasty!
Sneezing into your sleeve leaves you with the awkward "wiping up" procedure with a tissue or napkin. You try to knock off the big chunks but you just end up smearing the wet stuff deeper into the silk fabric. Hand sanitizer makes its appearance as you attempt to de-snot your hand after the clumsy cleaning stage.
And what about those days you decide to go short sleeved? I see your wrinkled up faces out there! You know what I'm talking about! You end up having to use your hand to wipe the "stuff" off your arm anyway!
No one likes to see their kids sick. All six of my kids caught a nasty flu this year. I'm not sure if it was the H1N1 flu because I didn't take them to the Dr's office to try to catch the flu if they didn't already have it. Instead, I monitored their fevers every hour and kept them on a regular cycle of alternating Ibuprofen and tylenol along with LOTS of fluids. And you know what? They all made it through! Not ONE of them had to be taken to the Dr's office.
I'm a DAD, after all! It's my job to watch over and protect my children. And I DID! I changed their bed sheets and blankets every morning and I kept a chart on their beds showing their temperature and medications that were given and when. That's what Dads and Moms are SUPPOSED to do! I don't expect that the corpulent nursing caregivers could have done a better job than me when it comes to taking care of my kids.
Would the healthcare system be "log jammed" if every parent decided to be a parent and care for their child properly?
H1N1 is a deadly disease... no doubt! But so is Strep, Staph, Dysentery, Dengue; and even normal Flu is deadly. Gingivitis can be deadly for heaven's sake!
But hysteria is not helpful and it can lead to an overload in patients seeking medical services and that would deny care to those who do become fatally stricken with the illness. Has anyone tried to find out how many of those deaths occurred because they patient had to wait to be seen?
Some may say that we needed to react as "big" as we did. But did we? How much of our scarce resources did we use up? Hell, H1N1 has just become the new "snow day" for the average worker and school kid.
I'm not smiling at the more-mild-than-expected numbers from the H1N1 flu because the moment I do someone else will come up and say, "there is still a second more virulent wave coming!" ... well, actually, that's already passed..."there's a third more deadly wave coming!" It's impossible to disprove a negative. The next wave of illness could easily be manipulated to completely debunk my analysis and I would be none-the-wiser. It's like saying, "We have done a good job making America safe from terrorist attack and we will NEVER be attacked again!" The minute you say that some other young man is being convinced to strap high explosives to his groin-al region.
On a quick aside... I would have a difficult, if not near impossible, time keeping a straight face while trying to explain to a young and fervent recruit what the "plan of attack" was going to be..."Here's what we're going to do! You take this bag of high explosives and slide it down next to you nuts. Then you take this here syringe of accelerant and inject it into the bag of high explosives around your nuts. THEN when you get to you seat... you take your blanket and cover your whole body in the blanket, to avoid suspicion and all, and then you light your nuts on fire in order to detonate the high explosives strapped to said nuts. OH! And if the explosive DON'T explode you can at least expect an intensely hot flame in and around the "twig and berries" area."
And the terrorists are bragging that they have 300 more crotch bombers ready to light their balls on fire! (Hey, I'm just reporting then news here, I don't make it up.)
Anyway... back to the flu...
What I AM stating is that the numbers have not even come CLOSE to the type numbers we have been hearing we would see from the beginning of the year. In fact, to date, only 12,000 people have died from this flu. Certainly ONE death is too many when you have such a tragic illness take a life, but in the overall number of deaths per flu season, that would be considered a good year. Typically, between 30,000 to 40,000 die each year in the US just from catching the "regular" seasonal flu.
Has sneezing into our elbows and bathing in hand sanitizer saved us from mucous covered devastation? I know my dry cleaning bill has certainly been devastated due to the "detritus left behinds" from the many good moist sneezes that have been delivered into the sleeve of my suit jacket.
I must admit it's a bit awkward to have the mucous stained elbow pit area in a long meeting. Judging by some of the glances, it's as if I had "liquid evil" boiling up on my sleeve. Who came up with the "elbow pit sneeze/ cough maneuver"?? Why can't I just wash my hands after I sneeze? HEY! You try feeling good about delivering a goobery sneeze to your expensive suit jacket sleeve! It's just nasty!
Sneezing into your sleeve leaves you with the awkward "wiping up" procedure with a tissue or napkin. You try to knock off the big chunks but you just end up smearing the wet stuff deeper into the silk fabric. Hand sanitizer makes its appearance as you attempt to de-snot your hand after the clumsy cleaning stage.
And what about those days you decide to go short sleeved? I see your wrinkled up faces out there! You know what I'm talking about! You end up having to use your hand to wipe the "stuff" off your arm anyway!
No one likes to see their kids sick. All six of my kids caught a nasty flu this year. I'm not sure if it was the H1N1 flu because I didn't take them to the Dr's office to try to catch the flu if they didn't already have it. Instead, I monitored their fevers every hour and kept them on a regular cycle of alternating Ibuprofen and tylenol along with LOTS of fluids. And you know what? They all made it through! Not ONE of them had to be taken to the Dr's office.
I'm a DAD, after all! It's my job to watch over and protect my children. And I DID! I changed their bed sheets and blankets every morning and I kept a chart on their beds showing their temperature and medications that were given and when. That's what Dads and Moms are SUPPOSED to do! I don't expect that the corpulent nursing caregivers could have done a better job than me when it comes to taking care of my kids.
Would the healthcare system be "log jammed" if every parent decided to be a parent and care for their child properly?
H1N1 is a deadly disease... no doubt! But so is Strep, Staph, Dysentery, Dengue; and even normal Flu is deadly. Gingivitis can be deadly for heaven's sake!
But hysteria is not helpful and it can lead to an overload in patients seeking medical services and that would deny care to those who do become fatally stricken with the illness. Has anyone tried to find out how many of those deaths occurred because they patient had to wait to be seen?
Some may say that we needed to react as "big" as we did. But did we? How much of our scarce resources did we use up? Hell, H1N1 has just become the new "snow day" for the average worker and school kid.
