Whine List Wednesday... Careful! It's Pretty Cheeeeezy!

Ok Ok Ok! Today kicked my butt!! HARD!!! (Got the broken nose to prove it!!!) I should have known it was going to be a bad day when I tempted fate and wrote the piece about calling the "wah-mbulance".  Karma kicked my ass!!!

So I get my nose broken (long story, but believe me, it was NOT in some glorious battle against evil). And while my nose may hurt like ever lovin' HELL... it looks pretty damn good! I think the "accident" may have actually straightened it a bit from the last time! Still damn good lookin' though!

Here's a good thing... oh but wait... hmmmm... not so much! Another stray cat adopted us. We are going to start looking like the "cat people" if we get more than 4 cats. I can't say as I BLAME the cats! They show up looking pretty skinny and rough and my kids have them fattened up in no time! What semi-intelligent creature wouldn't stick around? I'm just not a cat person. Cats are no respecter of personal space! They come up and rub on my legs all the time without me even calling or whistling to them. Of course, when I DO call or whistle to a cat, it seems to give me the "middle finger" look.

Did I mention I'm not a cat person??? We are at our "cat limit". Even though they are all outside cats, I find it very... uncomfortable... to walk into the garage in the morning to put my boots on and there are cats looking at me in very annoyed faces for turning on the lights. It's my house.... Dammit!!! (I do turn the lights off when I'm done though. Although I think that's just the good natured side of me showing.) 

Then my son comes home with the Expedition.... MY Expedition! He gets to drive MY Man Truck while I get stuck with the... mini-van (spit). And now he's broken it! I can tell it's broken when I see him driving less than 100 mph  up the gravel road that leads to our mile long gravel driveway. So I wait for him.... and wait... this is not good...

"Dad, there's something wrong with the truck!" And I can hear him shove the emergency brake down HARD to stop the truck. And I see my newly modified and customized "Snow White" (That's her name) lurch to a quick stop. "The brakes stopped working!"

I'm disturbed on two different levels here.  As a dad I'm DEEPLY disturbed that he chose to drive the vehicle home when he realized the brakes were NOT working. That's insane! Only a crazy person would drive a truck with no brakes all the way home from... wherever! Well, a crazy person or his father (don't say it!). Secondly, I'm DEEPLY pained by the fact that MY TRUCK is injured! I can feel it's pain as I caress the hood that I carefully repainted just the summer before.

I take a quick look under the truck and it looks like Alien vs Predator around the left front tire. The brake line was cut and there was OBVIOUS damage to the area around the axle. The rear wheel had the same "battle damage".

"Um son..." I'm doing awesome holding my tone in check at this point, "at any point today did you allow the driver's side of the truck to grind off of the road... maybe?"

"I was going to tell you about that, see what happened was..."

"I need you to go inside and watch your younger siblings... I'm going to need a moment."

"Yes sir"

Dollar signs are flying across my brain as I look at the different parts that will need to be replaced or reattached (which is good news because I get to use my new welding tools again! But I will relish those moments later!)

My nose hurt, my head hurt and my truck hurt! The trifecta of fatherly pain!!! And on top of it all... I hear the twins yelling as I approach the front door which someone has left open so that the four cats can sneak in... obviously. (Commence low grumbling growl)

Suddenly... in flash and a blur a giant cardboard box and filled with Ramona and Calvin came FLYING out the front door and off the front steps and then rolled into the front yard.

"HI DAD!!!" Ramona has no shame, after all! "We just slid down the inside steps and alllll the WAAAY out HERE!" Her little shaking hands were pointing out the trajectory of their flight off the front steps while Calvin tried sneaking around to the garage door...

This is going to be a long night... grrrrrrr.