I was up way too late with the kids. Got up way too early because of the kids. Now I'm getting to bed WAY to late again because someone gave me the Jericho TV Series for Christmas. Kind of a cool series! I've only worked my way through Season One though. The angry pygmies were rebelling and needed to go to bed, but I must say that I am pretty impressed with the series!
I sensed the beginning of the chaos when I saw Calvin, my 7 yo son, quietly come into the TV room and sit on the chair and look nervously in my direction out of the corner of his eye. Calvin, for you new readers, NEVER sits quietly... EVER! He doesn't even SLEEP quietly!
"What did you do?" I paused the show. "Calvin, what happened?"
I noticed his hair was wet and I could tell that he had taken a shower like I asked him to, which worried me a little more. "Did you break the shower???!" (Don't laugh! He has!)
Admiral Jackson came into the TV room at this point. Admiral Jackson is a miniature Black Poodle. In order to help "Jackson" maintain some sense of masculinity we allow him to grow his hair out into sort of a dreadlock look. We keep it trimmed around his eyes and he seems to like it much better than the girlie cuts most poodles receive.
It wasn't hard to figure out why Calvin was being so nervous. When Jackson came into the room Calvin actually covered his eyes with his hand. Jackson sat down in front of me and stared at Calvin with quite the "serious" gaze.
Apparently, not ONLY did Calvin decide that Jackson needed a shower, he also decided he needed a SHAVE! Calvin used my hair clippers to cut Jackson's Dreadlocked hair on his head... without ANY sized guard on the clippers at all... Leaving Jackson with a what appeared to be a reverse crew cut. Jackson's head was BALD... shiny bald... pale-white-doggy-skin-showing BALD. And he wasn't any happier than I was about it.
Tanner and Josh, my two oldest boys, coughed hard as they tried to disguise their laughter as they nearly ran from the room. I really had to bite my cheek HARD not to smile.Jackson looked SO RIDICULOUS! I never realized how small his head is under all that fur! And I could tell that Jackson was really staring HARD at Calvin... just making it even more laughable!
"Son, why did you shave the dog's head completely bald?" In all my days growing up and in all my years as a father I have never even considered having to say those words. Have you??
"I was just trying to make it so the hair wasn't in his eyes and when I started to cut it he moved and it shaved all the way back and it shaved his head and back." (Back?)
I looked down at the dog sitting in the protected area around my feet and saw what little Calvin meant by "shaved his...back". Admiral Jackson had lost a two inch strip of fur just before his tail. He'd shaved the dog's head and butt all in the same motion... AWESOME!! But I had to act stern and strict... I snorted LOUD as the laughter busted out of me, I had tried to remain serious, but I couldn't! I laughed so hard at the dog! Even Calvin started to laugh a little, despite knowing the days ahead of being grounded from the X-Box!
But that's not the funny part!!!
Two minutes later, little Ramona started yelling and crying upstairs and I can hear her thundering toward the stairs to come down! I can't understand a WORD she is yelling except for I KNOW Calvin is involved. And I can tell the older boys have seen her because I can hear them laughing all the way from downstairs in the TV room.
The only problem is that Calvin seems genuinely confused as to what the problem could have been.
Sarah comes in to the TV room soaking wet with a towel around her for modesty... covered in black poodle fur. She looked AWFUL! I promise I tried SO HARD not to laugh but I just couldn't stop it!
Calvin, at this point, was laying back in his chair laughing into a pillow while she pointed at him and screamed at him about how he had not cleaned the dog fur out of the tub and now she had it stuck ALL OVER her.
Half an hour later, after regaining some control over the situation again, I spent some time reading with Sarah. It was a good quiet time and I could tell she had really settled down again. She had her fuzzy pajamas on and her favorite stuffed animal tucked in next to her and we were just starting on the second book. All was calm...
Then she vomited...
Does it get any better than that? Seriously!