I am now 30 days clean! You may ask what vile drug or substance I am referring to and I would have to correct you... quickly! Nope! I am free of the pernicious menace called Facebook! Done! FINISHED! And I must tell you... I feel wonderful for it!
To be fair, I was never quite the Facebook aficianado that many are. I just couldn't seem to bring myself to accept "Friend Requests" from people I didn't want to be friends with when I knew them in person. Granted, I realize I may not be the most affable of characters and this may have impeded my ability to place a higher course of pretense to the matter, but the "Friend Requests" weren't the worst part, by far!
Besides the fact that Facebook was opening my daily life to people whom I had purposefully relegated to "Christmas Card List Only", these people were proving that they were on this list for very good reasons. It was as if I were dealing with the pressures of High School all over again, but in a virtual way that never allowed me to "go home" for the night! Yes... it's true. In High School I suffered from my own self-styled cool. But after all, I was sentenced to spend my High School Days in MISSISSIPPI. The land where style and creativity go to fall prey to tradition and conformity. I quickly realized that it was not my destiny to "peak" in High School.
Opening the lines of communication with the old "Alum" from "the Day" was fun, at first. But after a few months I would get the strangest messages...
Friend: "You never comment on my FB posts..."
Spud: "How am I supposed to comment on 'I love Jesus!'? I gave you the 'thumbs up'! Are you wanting dissertation and critical commentary on your statement of affection for the Lord Almighty?"
Friend: "What do you mean?"
Spud: "Nevermind. I will post a comment."
Friend: "Thanks Spud! I feel like it means a lot when you can just comment on my FB wall with comments sometimes... you know... you being a real writer and all." Spud: "Yes... I can see how it would give your wall more gravitas."
Thirty Minutes Later
Friend: "Why did you put that comment on my FB wall? I don't understand. Were you trying to be funny?"
Spud: "I was trying to reinforce your comment! You said 'I love Jesus!' so I said 'Yes, He is delicious!'"
Friend: "That doesn't make any sense!! Why would that reinforce my love for Jesus?"
Spud: "I thought you were Catholic. You know... communion?"
Friend: "You're still weird"
Spud: "Yes, well I am a writer..."
I ask you, dear Spuddies, do I need this pressure in my life?? I left High School with a firm resolve to never be one of those "glory days" people. You know the type! The people who catalog the high school years with albums of photos and tell stories of the years of popularity and carefree abandon to anyone who is unlucky enough to be stuck in the room with them for more than a few minutes.
No, I couldn't be more removed from any desire to relive, revisit, recount, or re-union with anything regarding the old High School days. So, for me, the Facebook account has been closed with a re-sounding click of the mouse.
I am giving myself a "thumbs up" for this post!