My Teacher Needed Her HIND LICKED!!!

Calvin, the 7 yo boy genius with a curious streak the size of the Mason Dixon, started giggling over his "dad sized" taco last night. You know the snicker... starts in the nose like the sound of a small pony clearing his sinuses then became giggling. He was obviously very tickled about something.

"Time to share or get back to the taco devastation, son." I have to admit I was rather curious as to this sudden outburst of laughter. He usually doesn't get this tickled about things that don't involve the destruction of small electrical appliances or Spongebob.

"My teacher told us she needed her hind licked at O'Charley's last night... and I...PPPPP-ppp-waaaa-hhaaa-ha!" We all sat in stunned smiles for a few moments... hind licked?

Josh, the Genius of All Things, snorted and laughed first and even had to put his head down on the table because he was snorting spanish rice down his throat. I could tell he was trying to give me a clue but he was also giving my the sign that he was choking and I was a little concerned... wait! Choking... hind lick...

"BWAH HA HA HA! The Heimlich!!! She had to have the Heimlich!" I could barely choke the words out past my own mouthful-o-taco. Everyone started laughing... even the overly serious and now a man 18 year old Tanner!

I quickly explained the difference between getting the Heimlich and getting your Hind Licked. It was quite the "joke killer" explanation, but I couldn't have my overly verbose son going back to school and spreading the rumor that his teacher was somehow involved in strange sexual acts at the local family eating restaurant. That would certainly garner some disfavor from his 2nd Grade Teacher.

Still, I felt like I had become quite the "Buzz Killer" for the kids in the second grade who had already mostly come to terms with their teachers strange proclivity for licking parts of her body in public. But isn't that life??

Things are never quite as funny as you thought, or as serious as they seem. And nearly always when you hear a rumor about someone that deals with licking and butts... it's probably just a misunderstanding. Except that rumor about me at the swim meet... yeah that one is true. Earned me the nickname "Crack"!

And no, I am not going to tell you the story! Just giggle and know that something really funny happened... REALLY FUNNY!


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