The Stay at Home Dad (SAHD): An Elucidation

"You know this isn't as easy at it looks!"

"You've only been doing this for the past YEAR! I've been doing it for the past SIX years!"

"You only make it look so much easier because you do things differently!"

"It's not whining! We are just talking about the different pressures of the day. If we were whining then there would be crying.... SHE always cries, so that doesn't count!"

Yup! Those are CLASSIC "Car-Rider-Line-Mom" comments that I get as I line up for the afternoon kid pick up! I can't help it if my mini-van is clean and vacuumed and has ample snacks individually portioned into baggies for easier handling! And that the bottles of water are sitting in the cooler between the front seats, ready to hand out to the hungry troops!

It makes sense to me!! Why would I waste the 15 minute drive home listening to the crying of hungry kids only to have them destroy the kitchen when they get home? I ask the other SAHM's (Stay at home Moms), "Doesn't this make more sense? They get to eat... not cry... and be ready to hit the homework right after they do the normal bathroom breaks and hang up their jackets."

I don't understand the petty, if not jealous, comments from some of these moms! Although, it was rather cool when the 1st Grader from one of the more vocal whining moms asked if I could drive her home from school from now on (as I handed out snacks and waters to the arriving pygmies). I got the classic scowl from the mom... you know... lips clenched. I would say she gave me angry eyes but she had "SAHM Standard Issue Giant Sunglasses" covering half her face. (It's not like we can't tell you aren't wearing make up... or a clean shirt... or matching shoes. Sunglasses don't make you invisible.)

And if the SAHM's feel the need to make comments about me cooking three or four different "versions" of dinner of every night I'm going to start getting the impression that they want to come over for dinner! Which... NO! I don't need that type of negative vibe at my dinner table!

Yes, carrying a coach's whistle and clipboard with me as I transport my pygmies from location-to-location seems silly and it may not be as fashionable as the SAHM Standard Issue stretchy jeans and oversize shirt which they feel the need to constantly tugging at, but my system works!! (Another note on the constant tugging of the back of the shirts and sweaters... I am NOT going to be suddenly circling you in order to perform a "booty inspection"! I can tell from the frontal view that further research into the "behind area" will not be necessary. Not being rude... just sayin' you should relax! We're all professionals here!)

Ladies, there is plenty of room for all of us in the Car Rider Line! And simply because I happen to do the same job that you do, only better, is no reason to start getting all "bitchy"! It's not like it's a contest, even though I would be winning. And in then end, we do it all for the kids... right?

Maybe some of us just love our kids more... (GRINNING! I knew that would get to you!)

See ya' on Monday Ladies!!!


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